One that knows your suffering

 Jogjakarta, 29th January 2016

We’re in a car. About to go get a dinner. 3 guys, talking about bits and pieces of life. Then comes the inevitable : stories about romance, about love life. In the end someone said “The best partner is someone that’s with us in our times of struggle”

Jogjakarta, 30th January 2016

I’m in a porch. Scrolling through Instagram. Stumble upon a quote : “Who are you when you have nothing?”

I stopped. It got me thinking.


“Who am I when I was nothing?” and “Who would I become when I have everything?”

I can’t answer that question. The answer should come from someone else. Someone that knows me when I’m still nothing, watches me when I’m struggling, and still with me when I’ve reached the goal.

I always believe that life has some stages, and each person has different stages than the others. Usually, every stage has its own suffering moments. And the pressure that comes from the sufferings shape us into who we are. Having someone besides you when that moment arrives will change the way you handle those pressures. Perhaps that’s why we can’t hate some people, no matter what happened. Maybe because they’re there at our weakest moments. Because they changed the way we react to pressure. Because they helped us through our moment of suffering. Because they’re a part of us. 


And maybe that’s why the best partner is the one besides us in our times of struggle. 

Because they complete us.

One that knows your suffering

The Importance of Money

I don’t do what I do now for money, but once in a while I get reminded about the importance of it.

What is the most exciting things in the world? 

For me, it’s freedom. The freedom to define yourself, to do what you believe is worth doing, to chase your dream and passion. Sometimes, in order to gain freedom you need to let go something that is similarly important. Maybe it’s something called money.

We’re living in a society that requires money as the primary tool of trade. There is no surviving without earning money. Money isn’t everything, but it is present in almost every thing that we do. And sometimes there are things that requires more money that other things.

Back then as a kid, I would imagine some scenarios that I might do when I grow up. Something like, I want to have a room full of books or I want a house with basketball court in it and sometimes I want to help those poor kids to live a better life. And those are the simple ones.

Later on in the stage of life, those questions changed into What will happen if I buy a room full of books? or How much do I need to build a house with basketball court in in? and sometimes When and what can I do to help them? 

Or maybe, can I just do things? will it worth the effort and the money?

The last question is maybe the key for all this. We can separate effort and money because they are two different things, albeit interconnected. Supposed that I want to go to Tokyo next month. Will it worth the effort? Yes. Will it worth the money? I don’t know.

And sometimes, money is the deciding factor.


Well… That sucks.

The Importance of Money

What if…?

They say that major life events will change you. Well, recent events got me thinking,

What if one day, I become a victim of terrorist attack? Or my family got caught in the event that transpired that day?

One thing for sure, I can’t imagine the grief that I’ll be going through or the fear that will haunt me. But I’m not sure what will happen after that. 

I might be consumed with fear and grief, so much that my life will be ruined from that day on. Or perhaps the event will motivate me to do better, to prepare for anything that might happen in the future.

I might be the same person as I was before. There is a possibility that any kind of major events won’t change the way I do things, that I will be the same no matter what happens. That’s not good though. That means I’m already content with my life. That I don’t really need anything, want anything, or afraid of anything. That my friend, is a bad combination of arrogance, indifference and laziness. And that’s bad. Really bad.

Why? Because I haven’t achieve anything major in life. Major enough for people to remember me long after I’m gone. Major enough to still give benefits for people even after I’m long gone. I want to make sure of that before my final moment comes. I want my life to have a meaning, that my world is a bit better because of me. That’s why I need to keep improving. IF a major life events can’t change me, then that means I’m stuck in current mental state. Inanimate with no progression to a better state.

And because of that, I’m afraid to die. I’m not ready for that. Not now. 

There’s still much to do.

What if…?

Jakarta, 14 January 2016.

Jakarta was in a bit of chaos today, with suicide bombers and random killing happening in the middle of the day. 

And I couldn’t care less.


Don’t get me wrong. I am concerned. And worried. I’m sending my condolences for the victims. Giving my best regards for all the heroes. And I condemn the act of terrorism. I sincerely wish that all of you get what you deserve in the afterlife.

You know, we’ll die when the time comes, whether we’re ready or not. Today’s act of terrorism just another reminder for us that chaos might happen anytime, anywhere and there are no safe places to hide.

And look at your social media(s). I bet that you’ll find some kind of post about ‘the calm satay seller’ or ‘brave food seller’ or maybe another form of stories about those brave fellows that keep on going as if nothing major happened. And I think they’re right.

I think that those acts of terrorism was meant to spread chaos and fear into daily life. By doing so they hope to create a fragile society, one that they can enter and influence easily. Based on that assumption, the best way to counter those terrorists is to continue with our daily lives and keep a clear mind and a serene heart. 

But that is not enough. We need to remember this event. We need to understand that they are threatening our home, our families. There shouldn’t be a next time. Let’s make sure that there won’t be a next time. Do what we can do, what we need to do to annihilate those acts of terrorism.

We will prevail. We must prevail. That’s why I couldn’t care less.

Because whatever happened, we must fight. And after today, we just have to fight harder.

Jakarta, 14 January 2016.

Work-Life balance : an opinion.

A lot of people talks about work & life balance. Some says that we should separate those two matters, other says that we can mix up both and I’m quite sure most of us agree that those two should be present in one’s daily life. 

Is that really the case, though? I don’t know about you, but I don’t see myself achieving work-life balance soon. And I don’t mind. 

I always imagine that the old version of me will get surrounded by kids and families. That I will be able to spend a lot of time with them, together. Maybe you’re wondering : what does it have to do with work-life balance? Well, for me it justifies the current unbalance situation in my life right now. I don’t mind not having a work-life balance because I’m not planning to have one soon.

Nowadays, most of my time revolves around work with some occasional me-time. By doing so I hope that I’ll achieve something big soon enough that I can spend more time with my family in the future. That’s why I’m not planning to have a work-life balance in my daily life. I believe that at some stage of life – there are things that needs to be prioritized in order to achieve something in another stage. Right now, work is taking priority so that I can get more family time in the future. 

But that’s just me justify see things the way they are now 😉
Or maybe the reason is much more simple than that. Maybe I just love what I’m doing right now. Maybe my work IS my life.




But then, you’ll never know what future might holds…

Work-Life balance : an opinion.

Less whining, more doing

Some of us are not lucky enough to work on the things we love. Maybe they’re stuck in a dead end job with no future, maybe they work for the things they hate, or maybe they just don’t like the situation or the people.

Working for something we don’t love tend to get exhausting, with a big risk for catching negativity. Most cases, those negativity turns into a form of whining, complaining, or unpleasant gossip. And it usually followed with the drop in productivity and efficiency.

In my point of view, there’s no point in whining or complaining if it can’t change anything. Let’s see : If you hate your job, If you don’t like your boss. Just quit. Plain and simple. If you think you haven’t been appreciated enough, then show them that you’re valuable. If  you want a promotion, prove that you’re worth the position. Complaining about things is only acceptable when there’s nothing else you can do, but say it directly to all people involved. Talking behind someone’s back is meaningless. You’ll get nothing but a little bit of negative-satisfaction. 

Bottom line is, if you don’t like something then change it. If you can’t do that better find another job. Can’t do both? Work harder and smarter. Spend time effectively so that you’ll have spare time to do things that you love.

whining won’t benefits you. doing something productive is.

Less whining, more doing

Changes that I would love

goodbye 2015.

2015 was a great year. I experience lots of new things, wih their ups and downs. Overall, it was fun but since 2016 is coming, let’s have some recap to see how to improve my 2016.

Some lessons from 2015 :

  • I’m still lazy and easily distracted (sic). A LOT of my problem revolves around this one issue.
  • I spent too much money on unimportant things. Not that I regret them, but I think Ineed  to spend money wisely.
  • Indecisive. I need to be more firm and straightforward on some things.

What to change in 2016 :

  • Budget control : let’s prioritize, and use the capital only when I need it.
  • Define goals and deadlines : the thing about goals without deadlines is that they tend to get pushed further down the road. So let’s try to set goals WITH their deadlines
  • Construct a better habit : sleep early. wake up fresh. more sports. pray. socialize. families.Those are the little things that makes life better, and I’ve been neglecting some of them.
  • Discipline : for  the past few years I’ve been losing my edge on this particular good trait. Time to tighten my grip and be more discipline 

I don’t think those points are enough to cover all of the improvement I need for 2016, but let’s start with those and see where I’ll be next.

hello 2016!
PS : the best thing about 2015 is that I finally realized that I’m still capable of having butterflies in my stomach. Thanks for reminding me of that particular sensation, 2015!

Changes that I would love